When Life Gives You Cucumbers, Make Relish

In my refrigerator, I had homemade mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup. Clearly I needed to give homemade pickle relish a try. And heaven knows I had enough raw materials, in the form of cucumbers and peppers.

So, I trolled the Internet looking for likely recipes, and I also consulted the Mango Relish recipe that has appeared on this blog. Then I looked at what I had in the way of ingredients, and I came up with my own recipe, which made three half-pints of relish, enough to enjoy and share. It was fairly quick and easy—and accommodating. I had intended to let the vegetables pickle for about an hour, but a small emergency called me away from the kitchen for longer than that, and the relish still turned out fine. Thus, “1 to 3 hours” in the refrigerator, depending on your own schedule, will work, I think.

After I made the pickle relish and it aged for a couple of days, I found I was the only one home for dinner one evening. I’m not a big hamburger lover, but we always have a few nice sirloin patties from Findlay Market’s Eckerlein Meats in the freezer because my son does like burgers a lot. So, I defrosted one and put it on the grill, then ate it on a homemade bun with homemade mayo, mustard, and pickle relish. I even baked some skinny fries (from a bag, I will admit) to dunk in the homemade ketchup. It was all delicious.

What’s next in the world of condiments? Well, there is still chutney, and as it happens, I have a few recipes for some delicious chutneys that use all sorts of things we have in abundance, such as tomatoes and peppers. So look for more condiment news soon!

Sweet Pickle Relish

2 cups cucumbers, peeled, deseeded,* and chopped (1 or 2 of the smaller ones)
1 cup chopped white onions (about 1 large onion)
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 red or purple bell pepper, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsps. kosher salt

1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup cider vinegar
2 tsps. celery seeds
2 tsps. mustard seeds
¼ tsp. turmeric
¼ tsp. fresh ground black pepper

*Deseed a cucumber by cutting it in half longways and scooping the seeds out with a spoon.

Directions

Chop the cucumbers, onions, and peppers to about a quarter-inch mince. Using a food processor makes them too mushy and too fine; you can chop them with a knife or use one of those push-down choppers, they do the trick well.

Put all the vegetables and the minced garlic in a large bowl or pan and sprinkle with the salt. Cover with ice and let stand in the refrigerator for 1 to 3 hours. Drain the water and ice from the vegetables in a colander, and press out as much liquid as you can from the veggies, too.

Combine the sugar, vinegar, spices, and seeds in a large pot (big enough for the vegetables, too) and bring to a boil. Add the vegetables, bring back to a boil, then turn down the heat a bit and simmer for 10 minutes.

Use a slotted spoon to transfer the vegetables to sterilized jars—you want some liquid, but not too much. Fill jars to about a ½ inch below the top, then get out the air bubbles with a wooden spoon handle and pour in a little of the liquid to fill in the spaces between the chopped vegetables. Put on lids and bands and process in a hot water bath for 10 minutes. Make sure you hear the lids click when the jars cool.

If you plan to eat and share the pickle relish within a couple of weeks, you can just ladle it into sterilized jars and refrigerate without processing; processed jars will keep in the pantry for six months or more.